This initially was going to be a blog about an issue I have taken with the gay community at large, but I think I am going to include the heterosexual community as well because, honestly, it's just as bad, but more accepted.
I am a Christian, heterosexual (or metrosexual depending on whom you ask) male. I have had a lot of gay people approach me in ways that support certain negative stereotypes. Be that as it may, I have come to know and love several people from that walk of life. To be sure, I don't agree with that lifestyle at all and all of my friends know this. Mind you, in the same vein, I don't agree with pre- or extramarital sex or abusive sexual practices or recreational drug use. However, in the end, every person alive deserves love and friends and good things and I love my friends no matter what they do or don't do and I love them hard.
That being said, I talk to them about everything and they talk to me about everything. This leads me to an issue that I have a particular irritation with in the gay community and with the world I've been exposed to at large.
What is your problem with this whole sex thing? I mean really. The whole hook up for one night and then move along is so over already and I hate it. Guys walk up to me and start hitting on me (apparently, I'm just either really approachable or really attractive or composed of gay pheromones. I don't know which) and I'm like, "No, not really. I'm not gay..." and they fight with me over the issue. Not because they are pursuing a relationship, but because they want the hook up.
What the hell? My name is not Neo, so I'm not the One you need to come to like that. Ever. Period.
In my mind, if you are going to approach me about something, it needs to be in the context of a potential for long-term commitment and monogamous relationship to each other and I don't care what gender that comes from. I approach people that way when I seek a relationship (rare as that has been) and I demand the same respect; I am no one's whore.
If this is how I feel, I can't begin to imagine the depth of loneliness my gay friends feel. Always thinking that after that hook up there might be something around the corner only to have the dream snatched from underneath them at the last moment or, even worse, not even being able to conceive of a love greater than the one-night stand.
What kind of people have we become?
Don't think you're getting away heterosexuals. You're even more insidious, but society accepts you. You just piss me off. Reality shows. Clubs. Bars. The freaking mall. I can't stand how everywhere is about getting the phone number, getting the girl, getting the tail. Getting the girl so you won't be alone or frustrated or so you can wear her like a badge. You suck. Refer to earlier blogs for reasons why.
Enough sex already. There's so much more to a relationship. Washing hair, planting gardens, reading books, seeing a movie or two, intelligent conversation and dreaming of the future. Don't settle for cheap sex when you have true intimacy and a lifelong love adventure. Don't settle for sex that means nothing in the end. I mean, if you're going to have it, it shouldn't just be passion for the moment, but lifelong love.
Why would you want less than that?
I am a pretty typical high school male in many ways. I'm something of a sex fiend and such. What distinguishes me from my peers is my agreement with you. My friends often date in like a silly and irresponsible way and both guys and girls treat the opposite sex as some sort of achievement, rather than a journey itself. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes until someone "right" comes along. Sometimes I have moments of insecurity, or times when my baser instincts get the better of me. These are the times when people tell me that I'm being a giant flirt and a whore for the opposite sex, or the time when I made out with a neighbor who I positively despised solely because I wanted to know what it was like. But in the end, I completely agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI can see where you're coming from; at younger ages, this is harder to deal with and get around. I was a rather unusual youth to say the least.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a difference between the people I am talking about here and you. Namely, when you are young, you do things that are sometimes foolish for varying reasons, most of them revolving a simple lack of understanding about how the fundamentals work. I mean you get enough of the mechanics on TV, but understanding the roots is different.
However, I would expect adults to stop acting childish and grow up and start doing and looking for something a bit more real. I want you to be encouraged to not settle for the shallow flotsam and sputum that you have to wade through everyday, but look for the real stuff.
Thanks for reading.