I'm thinking about a discussion that I had with a friend. It always happens in varying forms, but the ultimate end of it all is that one should always hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
Personally, I don't understand this. I really don't. Maybe I understand so well I can't understand anymore. Allow me use of the next few paragraphs and a few minutes of your time to explain. I have thought about the preparation that goes into preparing for the worst of scenarios. Mind you, I can understand this in moderation of some kind. Take an umbrella if it looks like it will rain. Take sunscreen to the beach. By extra food if you don't know how many people are coming to your party.
However, there are those that are always thinking about the worst that could happen and shield themselves from all that could hurt them (or as much as they can). I don't understand this. I fear for these people most of all because (1) I know what the ultimate worst case scenario will be for them and (2) these people are very close to me. For those reasons, this hurts me and prompts me to ask these questions/make these queries.
What if the worst case scenario is even worse than we thought? What if we have spent so much time preparing for the worst of all events that we forget how to hope for the best? What if we plan for rain so much that we forget the sun? What if we prepare for the worst - bracing ourselves for the crash and burn - and it never happens?
I mean, think about it.
You plan to fail at love, and it blossoms right in front of you. You wait for them to cheat? They never do. Not even in little things. You wait for them to lie. Never happens. You wait for them to fail. You watch their every movement, just waiting for the slip-up that comes just to prove yourself right. You overreact to foibles that come to every man and you eventually lose people that could have loved you for life.
What about that passion you had? You spend so much time expecting the passion to fade or not go anywhere that you forget that the fun parts of life sometimes consist of just trying to do something a little bit differently than the last time or getting just a little bit further than before. Maybe the point of it all is found in just the effort required. But no, we must have success and anything other than that is moved to a backburner and eventually forgotten.
Sad.
What happened to the idea that life is an adventure and that sometimes failing can be as much or more fun than success?
What happened to the idea that it's not the goal of life to succeed or fail, but to live in a way that is significant?
What happened to our ability to hope? Maybe it's found in the moments that we stop shielding ourselves from the rain and allow ourselves to dance in it for the first time in a long time. Maybe there is something to be enjoyed in the cloudy moments of our lives.
I never really plan for the rain, so I feel it when it falls for sure...
...but the alternative is always far worse. I'd rather be rained on and let someone else have my umbrella.
I see what you mean. I've missed out on so much because of my perspective. I wonder now if I saw my exhusband as cheating because that's what I wanted to see and not because it was actually the case (still no confirmation one way or the other). I've missed out on friendships because I was scared of what people would think of me if I shared myself. I've lost the opportunity to have an impact on hurting people time and again because I was so afraid that I would fall short. I lost sight of my Hope. In high school though, I climbed up a cliff on the side of the Colorado River and jumped some 30 or 40 feet into the rapids. At that time I was walking in some sort of wonderful blindness, forgetting somehow that I am afraid of cliffs and heights and jumping. Still, I would rather jump from those rocks again and tear the ligament that I never prepared to tear that to sit in the raft watching everyone else truly live life.
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