friendship de-evolution

Friendship is the choice of two people and the task of two people to maintain. Two people. Not one, but two. If ever two people fail to maintain it, then it starts to dissipate. Always. There is never an exception to this. At all.

It is not something that you do when it is convenient or comfortable. It is not the option that you choose when you are bored. Not something you do when things are going badly in your life or when times are dark - in fact, dark times are meant to draw on its strength, not create its foundation. It is not something to occupy your time until something new or shiny or more "cool" comes along.

It is mutually sacrificial. Mutually sacrificial. I have to repeat that: MUTUALLY SACRIFICIAL. No individual should ever have to give it all alone, but both should give their all for it. They must be fed by proper communication. Period. No communication, no friendship. Broken communication, broken friendship. Friendship is directly correlated to communication level. Shallow communication, shallow friendship.

It is about sharing the lives of two people together. It is one of the stronger human bonds. Maybe more than than. Jesus - this is the unique Son of God here - calls us friends and then bride and was willing to give everything He had for both of those relationships to thrive. He says laying down your life for your friends is the greatest love a man can give.

But lately, I look at what I have now and friendship seems to have another set of definitions. It's someone you can control. Someone you can manipulate. Something you tap into in order to avoid being bored or lonely. Something you don't have to fully commit to because people change and sometimes go their separate ways so there's no need to pursue the relationship or try to work things out or - God forbid - RESTORE anything.

It's something that you are when you give me what I want or when you don't get in my way at all. Ever. If you ever cross me, though, I can be a downright bitch and trample you underfoot and that's perfectly fine because, as my friend, you should just understand that I'm like that and never actually call me out on the fact that I am being a complete and total jerk or neglecting our relationship.

It gives me the right to take you for granted. To assume all things and inquire into nothing. To not ever have to ask you how you're doing in a way that could actually affect me. You're nice and you're my friend, but I don't get that involved because it might bring me down and...

Why are people so.....?

Is there anyone anywhere that understands the kind of friendship that I know to be true? Anyone that knows what it means to care for someone sacrificially that isn't going to have sex with them or whatever else hormones would lead them to do otherwise? Am I going to drown in this question alone?

It certainly seems that way. >_<