Sitting up and thinking about you (not that I ever fail to one way or another). Hugged someone and remembered that is has been a while since I've hugged you. It's been a while since anything resembling a verb has happened between us for the most part. That would be nice to fix one day. Hopfully soon. I suppose you probably would do some of that, but think that I am hard to approach or acting super weird and fucked up if you've thought anything about it at all. Who knows? All of that said, just wanted you to know that I missed you. If possible, I would like to hug you before work if you give me the chance. Take care.
I wouldn't take one of those words back, but after everything I've been through, I still have these words to write. I wonder what that makes me. Stupid. Loving. True Friend. A bunch of labels, but no answers aside from silence and wondering if I am on the right road from time to time.
I care about him in spite of myself and find it hard to be happy without him (although it is easier than it used to be) even after so much time has passed. This is really saddening, but maybe it's a sign that my heart hasn't given up completely. That or the fact something bigger than even my own heart draws me to him.
I just want things to be the way they were and I want to be his friend again.
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