not well today

I find myself going back into things that got me hurt last year. Small things are irritating me greatly -- people not answering phones or responding to texts/emails/IMs, not wanting to go to work tomorrow for my last day, can't sleep properly, don't want to be awake, can't fathom (still) why there is always a reason not to do something else....

At the same time, I don't even want to explain why I'm so irritated with everything. I don't want to be bothered and I don't want to be left alone. I want to wrestle and fight and I want to hold and be held all at the same time and all of this is in perfect harmony together in whatever zone of emotion this is. This only happens when I'm up late like this.

Maybe I should just listen to Sia for a while.