I Think It's Disappointment

I suppose that, simply put, I expected better. I should have known that the PBR on the desk was the sign of problems to come, but it's whatever because you're an adult.

Then the games. They are, in fact, games. Even if we lost five of them in a row, they are games. I reminded you of this in the midst of your frustration, yet again thinking, "you're an adult. It's whatever."

After this, the banging on things. I'm not one for temper tantrums, but you're an adult. Acting foolishly, yes, but an adult. I should not have to look after you.

There is now a hole in the wall. A hole in the wall because of a computerized, online game that we were playing against other people. I would like to add that we won this particular game. If that's the price of winning a game, I don't want to play anymore.

After you take your time to cool off, you ask me how much it is to patch the hole. You just want a figure so you can pay for the damage you did. Now we have a problem because I have never paid to patch a hole in the wall. I have put one hole in the wall from playing and there was another hole put in a wall by drunk people and yet another from a temper tantrum someone else had. The landlord, out of kindness, patched all of those holes for me without charging me anything; no, I cannot tell you what the monetary value is for the damage you did.

I still can't tell you after several explanations and your two moments that you decided to try to talk your feelings out and hug me.

I'm disappointed. More than angry. More than annoyed. More than inconvenienced. Disappointed because you expect me to believe in you and this is how I am repaid. Disappointed because you don't know when not to drink. Disappointed because the reason for the hole being in my wall isn't significant. It's not even because of a bad breakup. Just a game that you don't even have to play. This is beyond ridiculous.

I don't know what to think right now and I've spoken as much as I am going to in a calm manner about my feelings. I think I am going to work out, order a pizza and go to bed before I say anything mean to you.