oblivious

It started with a query about a vacuum cleaner

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Do u have any filters for the vacuum?

It doesn't use filters.

...? Label behind the dirt catcher says it has 3, one of them is in plain view in the front, another under the bucket, and it says to replace them often...

Good luck with that.

With what? = I just cleaned it out 3 times... = out adventuring from boredom?

Not from boredom. Y do you ask?

Lately most of the tome when I ask about what ur up to u ask why, so I guess I won't ask anymore... :(

If u prefer dramatic reactions, then u can do that. Alternately, u could see my question as valid and answer it.

Ps: save the sad faces for the actual sad moments.

Valid? Um, okay, cause I havent seen u all day and I'm off today, and u know, every now and then I try to be ur friend...

I was down the hall till 130...

I didnt get up and about till not long before that...

Also to quote yoda, there is only or not do. There is no try.

Skipped a word, and I choose the missing one...

So u didn't see me bc u chose to sleep until early afternoon. awesome. tell u wat. i'm going to the farm. u want to come?

I've actually been cleaning all afternoon and still have a good but to do, sorry, and I've been up early a number of times lately when you've been asleep, so it's a bit irrational to pull that one...

Wat word?

Nevermind my word question.

Do

Interesting choice.

Interesting how?!?!?!?!?!? :(... The faces r accurate u seem to b surprised I want to b ur friend, that's horrible to me... For more reasons than causing a really awkward roommate situation, which sux all by itself... Where we seem to have come seems like a very strange place to me...

When u were up b4 today has nothing to do with today.

I see. did u want to come w me after katherine comes or wat?

Sure.

K. Later.

Being in strange places happens less when u watch where ur goin.

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Hours pass and I sit in my room. Emotions are stirred by now and refuse to settle. I'm so... mad... then depressed as that anger subsides. Damn my forgiving, desperate heart. I want so much to have that connection again. We were so close for so long and then it disappeared on me without warning. After a while, it was too much to continue to watch as it faded, so I turned around and walked away for a while.

I got so used to it; not having him around. He did his thing and I mine. It has been that way for months now, but of all days, he decides to care today. What the hell is this? He comes in and he talks. I say little. T

hen I get ready to sit down and he tells me something is in the chair. I look at it; nothing there. Obviously a ploy. I stepped away to a neutral spot and he walks over to me and hugs me.

He hugs me.

After that hug... all ten minutes worth... I lean away for a bit, then just look at him without a word. My face had to look like stone because I know I felt that way. I felt so much energy and emotions flowing, but it felt like I was looking at through them through a slowly-cracking glass.

I'll be honest: I don't want to forgive him. He hurt me deeply and I want that to be recognized and repaired. At the same time, seeing him do what he did - AT RANDOM - tonight makes me want to forgive him as if nothing happened. That's foolish: something did happen and I can't make that unhappen.

This isn't fair.

If this were guerrilla warfare tactics, I would have been dead because I'm confused as hell. I don't understand. You care or you don't, but you don't do this thing where you suddenly care a whole lot at once after not seeming to care for so long and...

Ugh, I'm in a tailspin. I guess, in the end, it was nice and I should hold it as such without hoping for more. I guess our friendship isn't dead as I thought, but it is severely weakened and one ten-minute hug won't fix that break (wonderful as it was to feel the warmth and energy of that hug passing through me and reminding me of the friends we were).

I'd say this could be the start of something good, but I won't hold my breath.