16 December 2010

late night...again

The past couple of days or work have been rough with insomnia rearing
its ugly head to thwart my attempts to have enough energy to do life.

Aside from that, financials are looking a bit rough, but we're making
it through that ok.

Rickey is getting on my nerves with the "Yu" and "Mi" thing and just
generally being silly when I would just rather not be silly at that
moment. I'm sure many would say I would be wrong if I locked them out
of the room, but seriously. I think he is doing this just to see how I
will react to different things, but I've already explained to him
several times - using multiple examples - that I do *not* like having
people push my buttons just to see what happens if they do. I've
gotten into many a fight that way.

I'm almost sure that it's just him being passive-aggressive or worse,
but it's bothersome. I get weary of arguing about nonsense, so maybe I
should just stop talking altogether. Maybe not talking would get the
point across. Maybe I should just say "fuck everyone" and lock my room
door. Maybe I should just go apeshit on everyone one good time and let
everyone else deal with the aftermath. Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe
maybe maybe maybe....

...well, enough of that. I only have a few more things to cover for
this entry...

I want to draw more and more often. I crave a new channel for
expression, so I am going to start comic-style drawing and channel
that into a handwritten journal. If I do that, I may drop this blog
for a while or maybe even altogether for all I know. We will find out
soon I'm sure.

Tomorrow will look a lot like today: a demo here, report there, not
much to talk about or anyone to talk to. I need to be alone more
anyway. More so that I am now for sure.

And now, at 3am, with two people that have decided to just spend the
night here impromptu without even mentioning anything about it really,
I am going to bed. Whatever. Who cares anymore?

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