this week

I think on a very large level, I'm just drifting into cynicism about
people in general. *sigh* Don't even feel like dealing with this, but
I have to avoid the edge.

Okay, let's start at the beginning of my week and see if we can move
into the present. Monday, I wake up and head to ATL and pick people up
and get them here and we agree to meet. That night, I find out some
heavy stuff. I go out later and have a margarita. Tuesday, I am told
some of the most startling information to date about a bunch of work-
related things and I have a dirty shirley. This one was made with less
vodka. Wednesday, I find out even more startling crap than I did on
Tuesday and I buy way too much chocolate. Thursday, after fighting
tears and a bunch of other emotions, I make it to work and do things I
haven't done in years. This night, I have another dirty shirley. This
one has more vodka in it.

Today, I am reflecting on this plus other events of the week. I don't
know what to say except that humanity showed its ass big time this
week. Other than that, I'm persistently tired. Exhausted. Worn out. I
want to sleep for the next three weeks. Everyone at home is concerned.
I don't know what to think, so I just avoid avoid avoid avoid everyone.

To make it worse, TJ got my number from Q. I don't mind, but if you
haven't called me in two years when I live in the same city as you,
then isn't a bit pointless to ask for my fucking phone number?!
Seriously. Anytime you wanted, the number could have been requested,
dialed. Hell, you could have just decided NOT to ignore me all of the
times I called or texted or left a message or a facebook post or... oh
I don't know... *anything*, but instead you decide to just randomly
pop up on my radar years later.

Fuck you. Fuck everyone that does that. Morgan, B, whomever. Fuck them
all. At this rate, it will be everyone anyway. I'm probably going to
shut down at some point. Disconnect, disassociate, disappear, dismiss,
dismember; just typing all of this stuff pisses me off, but you know
what? It doesn't matter. I'm too busy to sort it all out. I have
reports to make, and websites to code, and projects to manage, and
content to create and bills to pay. Fuck me, too, actually -- yes, I
am adding myself to a list of people and situations that can feel free
to fuck themselves and I need to fold my towels.

I'm too annoyed to even have a focused thought right now. >_<