On a more serious note, maybe it was better that everything happened as it did this weekend. I got a good change of scenery. No rushing, no serious plans. Just relaxing, the net here and there, anime and talking. John and I spent a lot of time talking and venting and laughing. Lots of laughing.
I also took some time to think about how things were going elsewhere in my life, came to some conclusions, and even came up with some amusing, creative ideas. Let's see how they hold, but I think it's good.
I've also come into a new "must do" that I'm excited about: I must be consistently mindful of nutrition. I'm almost at the step that exercise is becoming a "must-do" and not a "should-do." I'm happy about that. It's moving forward.
Also, talked to Noah this weekend. I think that, by the time we finish talking about all this, he'll be happier. Right now, he's miserable with his life. I'm going to see if I can get him thinking in a more effective way about it and measure how it changes things if I can.
Also talked to J Beckman for a bit last night. He's come to the conclusion I'm too precise in logical discussions for his tastes, but it was a good discussion anyway. I had fun and I think we understand a lot of things about ourselves a bit better.
I thought about my room for a while. I've always said that my room is my sanctuary. That is the most factual statement I can make about that room. It is so true it is disturbing. I go to my room for the same reason I would go on vacation. It's my safety. No one can bother me there. I can lock myself in my room and keep people out. I can set the atmosphere in that room to anything I wish. Undesired entry does not occur. It's peace through control and I enjoy that about my room.
It doesn't make me very social, though. My roommates constantly joke about this, but I know they are halfway serious. At the same time, being in other places in the house is hard. People being too loud, too playful, too much of anything really is just more than I care to deal with. I'm different from other people and they are different from me. I can enforce my will on my room and disconnect from that. I can't make everyone in the living room be more quiet. I can't make them be less playful. People have the right to be themselves and I've always heard that if I don't like where I am, I should just go elsewhere anyway, so I take it to heart.
Very few are the times that I allow other people into my sanctum; I spend most of my time in my room with the door locked and light music playing. It's a world I am fully comfortable in and I can shape in any way I choose and invite people into if they wish and I'm up to it.
I've been thinking that maybe I should give that up and go into another room. I'll always have my spot for peace, but venturing out isn't so bad. It's just hard to be around certain people sometimes and I never know who could be coming into the front door and a bunch of other things, but....
*sigh* I really do think too much.
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