Boredom

I can see why he thinks the way he does.

I've been thinking through a lot for the last week. Mostly about people and the way they are. It's depressing for the most part. I can't even repeat all of the things I've heard this week, but it's amazing the things that people will say and do to get the thing/things they want from other people. From me. It's needless because I know you're lying before you even start all the while wearing a mask that has ideals like "love" or "friendship" written on it when all that lies behind and beneath are selfishness and self-gratification at the expense of anyone within reach.

Pitiful.

Oddly enough, I'm not even mad about it. I can't even be disappointed, because that would belie that I expected differently from you and, honestly, that's not true in the least; I didn't expect more from you and I probably never will no matter what you tell me.

It's unfortunate, but it is the truth and that is where I'm doing my best to live. The sad thing is, you believe your own lie; you really think that you want to be my friend in addition to all the other things you want. You don't, though. In the end, I'm probably just going to drop out of your world without a word or goodbye. It's not that I dislike you -- I don't feel anything one way or another -- it's just that, when I look at all the things I want to be a part of, you're not in that picture.