It's been a few days now. Hard days. Most days, I'm fine, but some days I wonder what to do with all the time and all of me that I would normally have given to you. I tumble through places, words, and dates.
As it all tumbles around in both mind and heart, I focus on the fact that things have passed and I'll not ever have them again as they once were. I allow this to cool down and acquiesce to the idea a hundred times before I calm down and find myself again trying yo enjoy alone what I meant to enjoy with you by my side.
This hurts in myriad ways but I've managed to get this reduced yo only a dull pain now. When I see you, I let myself feel the flutter of my heart, then let it pass. Maybe I will get to the point that I don't feel them. I don't know that I ever will. I don't know what it will mean if I do. I only know that I have to keep moving forward.
I come back to myself, amid other people, other places and other things. They aren't you. I miss you, but I must keep moving and I must keep letting you go – again and again and again – until I get it right or you come back for me.
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