I also adjusted the contrast a bit more. I like this.
Going on, things need to be said. You know what? I messed some things up, but I hoped for something new anyway. I'm not saying that we're.... whatever... but I at least thought I would be able to avoid disappointing you all over again since that seems to have been the case before. I'm really trying, but anytime I do, all of my past faults make a solid brick wall that I have to fight through.
In short, I feel like I have to fight twice as hard to get anywhere and that's tiring. I don't want to do that. I want something better. I've changed and so have you. There's no reason to expect the same things to keep happening.
I wish you knew. I wish you knew what I wanted to do and have you do and how much I wanted to snatch you up and just leave everything for a while. How I felt like I was about to explode when I hugged you. How I wanted... I can't even say that in this blog. I wanted things that were probably inappropriate and I couldn't have acted on any of it without being severely wrong and I can't do that... yet.
Understand, you are not dealing with the same person you met however long ago and you are going to have to let me prove that. I guess I'll just have to keep fighting until I win and maybe that won't be as hard as I think, but it's frustrating at the moment.
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