always a reason

There will always be a reason -- I have learned this much in the last few days -- always will be a reason for someone to do something other than actually love someone and sacrifice. I should learn to accept this as a concrete fact, but since my heart doesn't allow that, I'm going to just have to let whatever feelings wash over me until they pass.

I just don't understand why there is always a reason to misunderstand or not understand at all. It is always easier to see someone's pain and run from it or sidestep it rather than embrace it. This one is hardest for me, because in front of me I see that I shouldn't have been cast in the light that I have been and yet I am unable to escape being in that light until the trial is over. While I see someone's pain and even recognize the source, even as my heart wells up with compassion, I feel the sting of being slighted by being cast in the light of someone's previous experiences. It is easier to see people through past experience than through their present merit. Easier to stay away from people that might disrupt your positive energies.

Love is always harder. Harder to see another person's pain as equal to your own or at least equally important. Harder to see a person as they are instead how they were or how someone else was. Harder to do anything except have a reason to avoid and dodge and evade...