I'm almost sure this is me right now. I hate everything and almost everyone. I can't stand being in large groups of people... like seven. My energy lacks. I can think of 20 things including people that I care about at all right now. 20.
That can't be good I am sure, but that's where I am. 20.
I don't even want to be this irritated. Every bit of stupidity, every irrational thought, mine or anyone else's, is met with blinding rage. I can't even stop myself. I don't filter, I just flip out every single time. I can't keep going like this, but at the same time, I don't want it to end.
I'm tired of filtering and letting people carry on with their nonsense, so now I don't. I hide away in my room to save myself from it. I ignore phone calls. I flat out tell people to piss off and not talk to me again. I'm fine with it.
What contributes to it? Who knows? It could be guys being dumb; I have a vehement lack of compassion for anything with a penis. In fact, I hope they die most times. Tired of them being stupid, especially in the area of relationships -- gay, straight, variations thereupon. I'm mad at that. I'm mad at sex in general. I'm mad that I have to be on earth. I'm mad that I'm even mad; for the most part, my life is ok. I'm stable. Job is good, money is good, bills are more than paid. What the fuck am I mad for....?
Yet, I look into myself and I just see frustration, hatred and discontent.
God help me.
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