It's just been a long couple of years. I'm not going to exhaust you with details; if you want to know what's led up to this point, you can just start reading through the blog.
Bottom line is that I've decided what to lend emotions to and what not to lend emotions to and I lend my emotions to those things I deem worthy. Period. I no longer hand out the strength of my deeper emotions frivolously, without a thought. Instead, I study study study and observe observe observe.
Yes, I seem distant.
Yes, I seem guarded.
Yes, I seem unenthused.
Yes, I seem _______.
However, it is with perfectly good reason and even more so, a clear conscience. I simply do not allow my peace to be disturbed by anything within or without very often and when I do, look out.
These things that people expect me to get upset about, I don't anymore; it fixes nothing. Solves nothing. Produces nothing and in that time, I could have fixed the problem if I had kept my head level.
Fact is, I get more done and my perspective is more unclouded. It is easier to see things as they are and take action to correct problems and move on instead of becoming upset about them. If I make plans, I execute them and move on. If things fall through, I make a plan B and move on. It's all about the "shake it off, and move on" right now.
I don't have time to be drawn into nonsense these days.
I just don't.
(This will probably become my next blog post since I just realized that I have a lot to say on this topic.)
ReplyDeleteI understand completely your need to guard your emotions. I try to do this, too, and I always feel a little stronger when I do.
Here's some of my thoughts on the subject, and I warn you, they're all over the place since I've been thinking these things out myself over the past couple weeks:
1. Being less emotional makes me feel in control of the sitation.
2. However, being in control of the situation is not a good thing if I become "controlling."
3. I have a control problem. I want to be in control of all situations at all times.
4. That's not reality.
5. And that's not what God wants from me.
6. So, I have to learn to temper my need to control and analyze every situation with a healthy dose of acceptance and intentional peace. In other words, "I have to let go and let God." Cliched, yes. But true in MANY situations.
7. Now, being in control of your emotions and being able to clearly look at a situation unclouded by irrational feelings and fears is a fantastic skill to have.
8. But where is the line drawn between being logical and analytical in a situation v. feeling more and letting your "heart" decide things?
9. I don't have the answer to this question.
10. In fact, I don't have the answers to any of these questions.
11. But, I will probably decide the answers based on analysis and logic. That's just what I do.
12. Which brings me to the statement that you made, where you said "I've decided what to lend emotions to and what not to lend emotions to and I lend my emotions to those things I deem worthy."
13. What is your standard for worthiness?
14. How do you deem a situation, a person, worthy of your emotions?
15. I'm curious.
16. Because there needs to be a standard since living by randomness and picking and choosing how to react as the situation presents itself is an emotional decision.
17. So what are your thoughts on that? How would you approach that?
Let me see about which ones of these I can even address lol.
ReplyDelete1: I do this less for control of the situation and more for control of myself, but I know what you mean.
8: That line is a fine fine fine one. I trip over it constantly, but lately more to the logical side.
13: My standard for worthiness is drama levels. What it costs to be drawn into something versus what I am willing to pay for it.
- if you call me about your bf cheating on you after you have broken up three times because he cheated on you and you have called me EVERY single time and I have cried, listened, and all this every single time... *sigh*
- if the problem isn't something to even be emotional about. This was a hard one for me. Realizing that some things that I thought were super important really just aren't that big of a deal in general and learning to temper that. Just because it is important to me does not mean I need to freak out when things do not go as I wish them to or when people don't understand my feelings or thoughts or even when they are just plain stupid.
All of those things are time I can't get back stressing about things that only I care about (it seems), so what do I do? I redirect that energy to:
- my true friends
- my family
- improving myself
When I look at the drama source, if it isn't self-inflicted and solvable, I offer a solution. If it isn't solvable, I empathize.
There's quite a bit of thinking that goes into each decision, but it's mostly intuition and looking at facts.
Interesting post. Hm. Do you still feel this applies to your life now? And in what capacity?
ReplyDelete