James went to Elberton for the weekend, so I spent a lot of time by myself at the house. You know, the peace and quiet from that time was well enjoyed. It's not that I hate people, but I really value time to myself. I spent that time listening to music and reading and looking out of the window and sleeping in.
I worked on the paper for Sima a bit, too. Took a while to finish, though. 8-10 pages and references and such. It was quite a bit of work. Having the outline in place helped a lot. I was able to get just about all of it done by midnight. It was hard to stay motivated, though.
After that, I talked to Rickey for a bit about things he was frustrated with and such. Girl stuff, roommate stuff, life stuff. We talked for a long time and watched Kenichi for a while. I went to sleep thinking that I would spend more of today reading a book and finish.
Nope. Didn't happen.
James came home around three and Rickey went to work. I went with James to hang with the parentals and got some dinner then a movie (Carabba's and Hangover 2, respectively). The movie was hella funny, hella awkward, and so much more. Gosh things have changed. Things I would normally have walked out for are now just things I flinch at and the things I'd flinch at were like "Um... awkward, but whatevs...."
That's a bit disturbing. Sometimes, I feel like I'll never regain the sensitivity to certain things I once had. In some ways, maybe that's just growing up. In other ways, I'm concerned about my own soul safety. I wonder so much about things sometimes, but it's something I will try to work out and choose to do and live.
I was thinking about my job some more today. I think more and more that, if something does happen, I'm really just going to move to Japan and teach english. Fuck it. Why not take a chance and do what I really love? I'm not married. I don't have kids. I don't have any super major debt except my student loans. I adapt easily to new circumstances most times.... There's so many reasons to go...
I keep seeing people from earlier points in my life. It's so interesting to see them now. They see the person I've become and they like it, I think. That feels nice. To say that, "the years have been long, but kind to me..." and have peace.
A friend/brother of mine, Brandon, called me the other day. I met him when I went with Reza to see his family and he and I got on really well from moment one. He's pretty adopted me as family and so I keep in contact with him and try to keep him encouraged. He asked me not to move away from Georgia if he moves here as he'll miss me. It's so funny how quickly he's bonded to me in so short a time, but I'm thankful for that.
I think about that when I think about leaving everything behind sometimes. I could leave everything else here without a thought, but my relationships would be the hardest things to leave behind. I think about the handful (and really small hands, mind you) of people I would stay behind for. I think of one person I would willingly drop all of my dreams for if asked. At the same time, even though I would do that, that's not what they would want -- at least not on that grand a scale.
I'm still working on trying to be more consistent with doing things on my Must-Do List. So far, I'm getting closer in the last few days than I have in some time. A couple of ideas occurred to me this weekend and I will try to do those things and hope it goes well.
My FB hiatus is almost at a close. I did pop on a time or two to send happy bday messages and check on general goings-on, but no posting, liking or commenting has been happening. Speaking of social media, I'm kinda (read as: very) interested in Google+. I applied for an invite, so we'll have to see what happens.
I'm glad for a short week this week and payday in only a couple of days and a weekend out of town. I hope things go as planned.
...and I didn't talk about things I miss very much, did I?
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