....

Just dreamed about my grandmother. She beat me for no reason it seemed. With all sorts of things.

I was a kid in the first neighborhood I remember living in.

At the end, I became suicidal because I felt like I was being beaten for no reason and no one would try to understand.

I couldn't tell my mom bc she wouldn't day anything to my grandmother. My grandmother thought everything I said was foolishness.

At the end, when my family saw me walking into traffic, she caught up with me and started to beat me with an umbrella. I caught it in mid-swing. My brother held me in place to keep me from running.

I said, "I finally get it; you're not beating me because I'm bad. You're beating me because you don't understand me." She started to become angry, but I wouldn't let go, "you've been around for so long; you know so much of my past and because of that, you can guess a lot if my future and what I might do, but who I really am is unknown to you. Stop beating me because you don't understand me; get to know me. Learn how to love me."

She cried silently, then disappeared. The dream ended.

I'll never be able to tell mom that. :/