Fuming and Planning

Today I'm going to let you in on a secret. Something that is relatively well-known to people that know me well. Here's the secret: I plan.

That may not seem like a big deal to you, but my guess is that you underestimate that fact and that's is why you will end up being involved without being aware and that's fine. You don't need to be. That's fine.

For those that have experienced it, my plans can be very frustrating. Especially if I become angry. In the surface, I seem very erratic; my behavior seems erratic. I behave very different with no apparent reason and -- this is the important part -- no visible warning. This can be hard to deal with as my behaviors may include sudden, purposeful, intense silence. Withdrawal. Avoidance of topics. Total passivity on a subject I am normally passionate about. Abnormal levels of apathy toward a particular person/group of people's actions or life choices.

The offending person may have a clear sense of what is going on. Spiritually sensitive people may have dreams related to the offense.

I say all of that to say this: I am at the end of my rope right now and I am currently in the middle of some plans. Some of them are ridiculous, but this that aren't may be everyone's reality in a month.

That is all.

BTW: spare yourself some hurt feelings and avoid asking me about any of this if you read it. I've used this journal to talk about the things I'm mad over many tike and still I find myself dealing with them. Considering how many times I have spoken on the subjects in just the last 30 days, if you want to know, backtrack and guess. I'm done with repeating myself.