Paranoia En Route

When I go on trips like this, my mind goes into a dark state of alertness. Very dark.

I keep my keys in an uncommon place because (1) I can stab with them and (2) most security checks won't make you leave your keys. I keep all the long keys on a keychain close together.

I keep my license in an unusual pocket and keep my wallet in my bag.

I only take carry-ons on trips so I can hold my bag the entire time. I keep all phones on silent or vibrate. Today in particular, I lied and said my iPhone was just an iPod. Couldn't risk it no matter how giving I normally am.

I check surroundings to see who is looking or might look when I take money out. I keep the money in a breast pocket because they have buttons. I fold it flat to avoid unneeded attention to bulging pockets.

I wear neutral colors and avoid any clothing with distinct patterns or labels so that I can blend into crowds easily while being relatively hard to identify.

I avoid eye contact on a large scale. Or smiling. Or any other inviting expression.

I stay near one person at all times or keep my back to a wall.

I only use stalls when in a bathroom.

I text instead of calling. Conversations by phone are no longer than 5 minutes unless it is my mom; she gets 10.

I leave headphones in to decrease the chances someone will talk *to* me. At the sane time, I keep the volume low when I'm not on the bus and listen to everything *around* me.

I always sit toward the center of the bus and near the aisle where possible. Never too far in the back, but far enough back.

I visualize scenarios in which I am attacked with knives, guns, while seated or in small/confined spaces. I visualize ways to counteract these things. This was how I passed time while eating tonight.