08 December 2011

Sigh...

Why is it that I can never hold back the tears whenever I watch this?


Every single time I get to about 0:58, tears start forming. What is the power this video contains? What part of my heart does it speak to? I don't understand and I never have, but my heart knows. My spirit knows. The parts of me that cannot speak out know and know well and they react every time.

I wish someone could understand how I feel so I could share it with them. I hate feeling so alone sometimes. Some people prefer that loneliness, but it is not my way to prefer being alone as to live in the reality that, in a lot of ways, my uniqueness causes a peculiar kind of loneliness. I am always surrounded, but not a part. My apartment dynamics show me that much...

I need a break, but on days like today, all I have are my thoughts.

The sad part is that none of these thoughts would last in the face of a single hug -- just as fog dissipates in the sun. That said, I have no access to one right now.

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