Cycles, Silence, and Work

I had a semi-emotional moment after Morgan and I had a long talk about things and how we are and how we should move forward. While it seems that we can agree that we want to move forward together as friends, we cannot comes to terms on how to treat each other. As such, we had a small, silent spat on Sunday and we've not spoken more than a few texts since then.

He didn't come home yesterday, so I didn't get to speak to him about it last night.

The texting in general is a microcosm of what the actual problem is:

• Something bad happen.
• We note this.
• I want to speak about it. He does not.
• I bring this up.
• Missed communication. Mixed Communication. Bad communication. No communication.

It's just all very trying, but ultimately it will be okay. I will be comforted and, depending on how things go, he will be without me as a friend.

What I've told him, and others, and what is consistently not taken seriously, is that I am a lot better at letting people go lately and it is so much easier to do that than forgive. The truth is, where I am now, I don't want to be bothered with people that don't seem to make the effort to either not hurt me or make things right in short order when they do. I'm not asking for more than the basics of not being an asshat and I'm neither going to beg nor fight for it. 

Not anymore.

On another note, work seemed to be divinely inspired yesterday. I don't even know where that came from....

...okay, I kinda do. I prepped a lot of things the day before to make sure everything was clear for Monday. That still doesn't explain the kind of high I was on that day or on Sunday. Seriously, I just had this intense focus for no reason and so I pointed it toward my work stuff and ran with it. I got done in hours what it took weeks to do. At least, that's how it felt.

It was great. Everything was in order and easy to clearly report on. Nothing in my box, nothing my boss could complain about. He even had an especially pleasant commentary on my work. When it comes to work, I really enjoy making this guy happy. More than my clients, his words and approval mean a lot to me. It was nice hearing him say, "You have a bit of growing to do, but, overall, I am very impressed with the way you have handled things while I was on vacation..."

That really made my day.

This week is just a lot of gogogogogogogo, but I think I'm going to be okay as long as I keep going.