ambient noise

Between all that is happening and all that is yet to come, I'm easy but uncertain.

After a bit of prodding from Brett, I talked to RM after a long period of very tense silence and separation. It was a good talk and we've worked a little bit everyday at keeping that up. That works well for the most part. I am kind of annoyed at him because he has a bruise and refuses to tell me where it came from. I surmise that it is because of something involving EB, but the point is that he can't trust me enough to just say what it is and I don't like that; if I can ask her and maybe find out, why can't I ask you?

Whatever. I'm going to just blow him off for a while until I'm over it and get back to whatever I was doing.

Job things are going odd. I got re-interviewed by Tony from GLNA. Holy freakin' cow! That was pretty unexpected. I was only meeting up with Gary to get Judy to the airport. Go figure that!

I also got to meet Meredith. She is absolutely beautiful and classy besides! Wonderful stuff.

Since then, I've been applying for jobs daily and trying to work out this unemployment thing. It is some kind of difficult, but I'm not giving up. Something will work out. God will come through.

MR is not talking... again. Just here when he's here - well, not really - and gone when he's gone. We aren't talking very much. I do speak when I see him, but nothing more than perfunctory greetings I guess. He got a new cord for the laptop, but with that is his disappearance from the world. With all that I have been through with him, I don't want to give up on him. I really do love him and I care, but all I can think is, "Do you want to be friends or not?" He says he does and then when he gets close to what he wants, he does everything he can think of to destroy what he says he works for. If he doesn't want to be friends, this is okay. It hurts, but it is okay. I just want him to make up his freakin' mind and be friend or enemy. Tired of waiting for him to figure it out while I'm up here trying to sort out why he's mad in the first place and then have to hear him say "I don't want drama."

Whatever.

Parkour group is going well, but couldn't head out today for a bunch of reasons. Sucks and I miss everyone. Some more than others.

James is coming Wednesday and I'm excited about that :) Ed is awesome and I love him. I wish he and Brett didn't have such an oddly strained relationship, but at the same time, I guess it is what it is. I love them both and I am glad to have them. Ed is a bit of a queen (of everything, forget the drama), but I love having him to speak spanish with, the free food, and just the company. He's just fierce in every way and so honest about it all. It's freakin' hilarious. He really cares about me and doesn't let petty shit get in the way. He doesn't lie if he doesn't have to and when he likes/doesn't like something, he'll let you know how much and why. LOVE IT!

I think I'll do dishes later since no one else has in weeks (and RM refuses to do so and has not ever)... if I feel like it.

Website work and projects are also going well. I think I might redesign my site for sure; it could use the facelift. Hoping to get Enkera's input there. ^^

I really miss Rickey, Clive, and Sanquan. A WHOLE FREAKIN' LOT. I wonder how he is. Not being able to talk to him everyday makes me die a little inside. I need him. >_<

Hoping this day ends in a relatively positive way. I think Ed is home today, so yay. I need money for gas. That, I think, is all.