After that, you ask me why I came (to hang out like we planned) because I was late (I guess I can sympathize with that, so okay). Then we're watching a movie. I'm enjoying watching the TV and just being. No rush, no need to make something happen or do everything that you just knew I wouldn't be happy without (you'd be surprised how much I've learned to do without). After that, you explain you don't want to just exist there (mind you, you left the room. If you were talking, I didn't hear you and you assumed I was ignoring you and left instead of -- get this -- TALKING). When we do talk, I'm just there chilling when we bring up the subject of a line out of our previous IM conversation. Let's look at the line:
i haven't confirmed yours yet and you've confirmed quite a few of mine atm.From this came a flurry of questions that (to me) made no sense along with several equally sideways comments.
You think you're so much better than me. Nope. Never said that. You said I've confirmed more fears for you than you have for me. According to that quote from the conversation, I didn't say that either. I simply said that I've confirmed none and you've confirmed quite a few of mine. Mind you, in context, I can only speak to the ones you wrote into the conversation.
Meh. Minor detail that.
Then a request for me to write down everything I was afraid of and saw as confirmed. What purpose would that negativity solve. I'm afraid of things. Things that were apparent, if you didn't notice, then fine. I just wanted you to know I had just as much to be afraid of as you. In some cases, I feel there could be more, but just as you said earlier when I asked you what you were afraid of: it doesn't matter.
...and it doesn't matter. What does matter is what is in front of you. The day probably could have gone a lot better, but instead of moving forward, we spent the better part of the day looking in a rearview mirror. To make things funnier, I was happy the entire time you were mad and walking through the house ignoring me for hours...
It's funny....
Ultimately, I suppose, you've properly disposed of me. It was funny -- and a little awkward -- answering questions about whether we were or weren't speaking (like I knew) and why we've spent all of our time separate from each other (I don't know). You say that things won't be the same...
Honestly, as with everything else, it's up to you.
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