if you want to be.... if I want to be....

It's not hard, you know. It's not hard to be free of me. All you would -- or anyone -- would need to do is speak the word and I would be gone. As it is, in the emotional and mental state I'm in after months of having life kick me in teeth, I wouldn't even be able to argue the point. I've learned to open up my hands and simply drop whatever they're holding.

In the end, there is holding on and letting go. As the days go by, I see more and more letting go happening on my end because I'm realizing that people simply wish to leave. I'm always too much for them I guess. I'm too sensitive, too emotional, too caring, too attentive to small details... fill in the blank. I could post only a million IM conversations, text messages, and facebook posts pointing to similar concepts.

At least I know what I want. I give myself props for that because it is rare to find that in a million lifetimes. I have a clear idea of what I want and even from whom. That won't change. I'm still waiting for more than a few people to catch up. When they get around to me, then they will. All I can do until then is...

I want to say [wait], but that's like waiting for an airplane to land on a mountain summit. Then again, I always have believed in the impossible. I can't lie, though; it does become a little harder everyday. For some, I won't even bother hoping or waiting. See below:

Your approval is a lot like your friendship: something I don't need and find myself wanting less every moment I breathe. Find the wrinkle my memory has put in your brain and remove it. -- me@FB

That applies to a particular person, but it's not even worth attaching a name right now. Aside from that, last night sucked. I tried to watch a movie, fell asleep, then had nightmares and woke up every three hours. The thing that sucks is that I dreamt that you broke your promise.

Oh well, back to cleaning.