We learn, at first, to do these things with objects. Carry an extra quarter so we can make emergency pay phone calls. Buy an extra pair of glasses in case you lose a pair or one of the pairs breaks. Get spare tires in case one goes flat. Get a minor when you are in college so you have something to fall back on in case the major you chose doesn't work out.
Then it starts to extend to people. Network. Then keep those relationships open so that if something happens, you have resources you can reach out to for help. Stay connected to family so that you have them to ask for help if you need something. Never forget about your friends in case that new boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife thing doesn't work out. Don't bite the hands that feed you and don't burn bridges behind you. Leave no stones unturned. It is the classic Hansel and Gretel story; you leave a trail behind -- some connection to the past -- so that if the future or the unknown territory is too scary, you can always find the way back to the way things were. To a point, this is understood, however I must warn each and every one reading this entry: there are some times that life doesn't leave you the option of going back to that place.
There is one thing in particular that I will address here and that is the matter of love. When you love someone -- friendship or otherwise -- there is a point at which, if you walk away from that road by cutting that tie, you may not have the ability to wander back to it. No matter what the relationship is, we cannot spend any part of our lives thinking that we can simply cut ourselves off from or neglect a relationship, and come back to it if things do not work out. We cannot leave our best and closest friends for a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever, neglect it for weeks or months on end, and then expect it to be waiting for you when you return to it because you are trying to find the way home. Mind you, depending on the friend, it may be, but you cannot count on that.
The same thing with ending romantic relationships. If you give yourself and then your other a reason that the relationship must not exist, then stick to those guns. People are not yo-yo's and cannot be treated as such. If you have decided to say your goodbyes and farewells then leave them there and move along. I have had to undergo that process twice -- that being the discussion of definitively ending one type of relationship and noting that the possibility for such a relationship could not exist at any point in time for a relatively lengthy list of reasons -- only to be confused when months or sometimes even days later, I am told by the very initiator of the conversation that they wished it to be otherwise/don't know how they really feel about having things end in that manner/misses me or x thing about the relationship before we decided that it was better to permanently alter it and such. Will those feelings be there? Probably for a long time to come, but very much distant to me because I've had to go so long without acting on them or thinking about them.
Not only that, but I don't like the idea of being the fall back plan. No one does. The idea that someone has me on a list of things to get back to or check in on if things don't work out between them and whomever they have decided to pursue/be with/talk to instead. I don't even like being called by friends when they are bored because I don't like being the backup plan... Emotional drivel at best, but it really bothers me.
In any case, as I said it in that entry so long ago: I leave you in peace to go and do whatever it is that you wish to do and be happy doing it without me. I let anything I thought or felt or wanted go so that you could have what you thought would make you happy and I became okay with it. It won't be here when you try to find the way home. It will be like the bread crumbs that were eaten by the birds in the Hansel and Gretel story...
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