I struggle very much with the idea of living in the shadow of the past. All my life, my friends have been important just as their faith in me is.
Unfortunately, this is never the case. I run into everyone and their mom that has a trust issue. Never minor. Never. It's always major and denies me that important trust. In response, I work hard to remove every spot of mistrust I can. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I make it through and find that final piece I was looking for...
Most times, however, it is a continuous process of proving myself. Over and over and over. It's tiring. I can't just walk up to a friend and say I will do something or be somewhere or even that I love them without having to fight a horde of demons from bad experiences past every time.
Even a warrior needs a time of peace, but I suppose there is none for me. Not for this.
