getting meaner

I've realized a few changes that I am going through as of late.

One of those things seems to be the fact that I'm becoming meaner with every passing day. It's not even anger, I'm just fed up and the feeling which normally passes like a bad tornado or hurricane persists.

For example, last night, roommate #3 came pounding on the door; no, he does NOT knock, he POUNDS. Knocking uses knuckles, not the broad part of your hand.

Whatever.

Normally, I ignore it or make a snide comment later or something like this, but not this time. This time, in mid-phone conversation, I yelled at the top of my lungs over everyone speaking at that time with three people as witnesses:

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! STOP POUNDING ON MY FUCKING DOOR LIKE THAT!!

He then stepped into the room and said, "Excuse me....?" as if I offended him by saying something unnecessarily. At this point, I normally would have went back to what I was doing without another word. Not this time...

I said, "Stop beating on my door like that. It's not necessarily and it gets on my fucking nerves." After which I turned back to my phone and continued talking politely in the same manner as before as if the conversation were not interrupted at all.

At this point, Roommate #3 states that it was just a knock and that maybe he should just kick down the door next time. I really have the commitment within myself that I will really punch him in the face if that happens because it is uncalled for.

I'm tired of being nice and taking the moral highroad. Fuck that. Insanity is repeating the same things and expecting different results. I have been nice and kind and polite and have been screwed over time and again by assholes like this and other people that just think it's funny to try to run me over. I think I am really going to just lose my mind one good time and then everything will be set straight because, maybe for once, people will understand why they SHOULD NOT FUCK WITH ME!!!!

I'm tired of talking to people that can't hear or understand even the simplest of the things I say in their native language. What the fuck?! This is why all of my facebook posts except one in a whole month have been in spanish or japanese or french because there is NO POINT IN SPEAKING A LANGUAGE PEOPLE CAN'T UNDERSTAND! If I can't communicate in english to AMERICAN people who have english as a NATIVE LANGUAGE, then it doesn't matter what language I use!

JACKASSES!!!!

I'm at the cabin for the weekend and I keep thinking that with six of us here, I will end up fighting or just hating someone. People and I aren't good for each other and I may not be for a while....

In better news: I might have a girlfriend if things continue as they are. Yay me.