24 October 2010

sexuality questions... part n

It never ends and it never well.

My friend asked me if I struggled with homosexuality. I seem to behave in a way that some other people he knows behave and they have a struggle with that issue. If that were me, I wouldn't struggle with it at all -- I'd be fine with it.

Oddly, earlier today, another friend asked me why I wasn't bisexual. I chuckled at that one.

More seriously, we're back to this question of whether I am gay or not. On the surface, that off-the-cuff answer with no explanation is "no", but that's for people that want an answer. The truth underneath that is a lot more complex.

As I've said to some and to my mom, I am curious about things. Lots of things I have seen, done, touched, etc leaves me with a lot of things I wonder about, ask about, think about etc. Will I pursue those things? Probably not. However, to act as if the question was not there is lying to myself and no one is worth living in falsehood for.

Would I consider a relationship with a guy? A romantic one? Who knows? I might, but I probably won't. We're talking about a 95% vs 5% chance. At the same time, if I do then I do. If I don't then I don't.

There are so many questions to drill down into about this topic and I'm not scared of any of them, so ask whatever you want.

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