we fight for love

In my last entry, I wrote about things that make love hard for me on the level that I wish, but I fight for it because of all of you. People that aren't reading, people that have yet to read, people that read and people that never will.

For all of you that make my life wonderful. For all of you that don't always get me or even reach me in spite of our best efforts. For all of that and for all of you, when I wake up in the morning, I just try again. I fight my urges to close up and bottle up and hide who I am in spite of that very person being judged whenever he dares to venture out into daylight.

I continue to let you draw nearer, closer, and deeper in the hope that one of you will pick up on it and understand and that, for one moment, I will have that kind of relationship that I ache for. In those moments, for the split second or seconds or days or months that it happens, I am the happiest person on earth. I'm looking for those moments. I'm looking and I'm looking hard among all of you that have, thus far, decided to stick around.

I love you. All of you. And now I am going to be more open to being more of me so you can love me back.