educational weekend

This weekend, I went out with some friends to commerce. Gary was in town for the weekend and wanted to shop. Okay, cool. I also wanted to shop (but couldn't shop too much since I'm trying to downsize lol), so I went out.

That day, we took Philip. Typical dress. He didn't feel the need to dress up, he had poofy hair, etc. Here's Philip a few months before this shopping adventure.

Let's talk about Philip. He's a good guy. He likes girls and would like a girlfriend and all this. No, looks are not everything. Yes, looks count to a point. So, we suggested a few things: cut your hair. Buy a new outfit or so. Doesn't have to be expensive, but things that look nice on you. Groom yourself. Not for the girls. Not even to be noticed, but because we should take care of ourselves and yes that means appearance to a degree. We should never judge a book by the cover, but books with boring covers don't get read.

We went, we shopped, we tried things on. I got a new shirt and two belts. Philip got a shirt and pants. When we came back home, Gary cut his hair and he went to work.

Today, we went out. Philip didn't notice, but he got looked at quite a bit. Was he a different person? Nope. Same guy. Same laugh. Same personality and fears and joys and all this. It was just an outfit and a haircut. Take a look:

I know, right?

During the shopping adventure, I talked to Philip because he was objecting to buying the clothes. He said, "I don't like this..." "This looks bad..." I told him that it was just homeostasis. I continued to explain, "What you said was 'I don't like this', but what you meant was 'I'm not used to this and it's uncomfortable.'" You could have heard a pin drop. He smiled and shook his head and submitted himself to the process. The result is the picture above.

Homeostasis is a powerful thing. It is a function of our need to belong. Our environment resists us when we are trying to change if it gets used to us being a certain way. If you are a chaotic person, it fights you if you try to settle down. If you are a lazy person, it resists you when you try to become effective. If you want to exercise, you suddenly feel lazy. The list goes on.

While we at another restaurant today (yes, he got checked there, too), his sister came by. Comments were off-the-wall. "This t-shirt looks weird on you. This hair doesn't look like you. It makes you look gay."

My comment to Philip: "Remember yesterday."

My comment to her: "This must be breakthrough research. I didn't know that cutting your hair affected your sexual orientation. Gay people should hear about this."

Gary asked her what the basis was for her objection was. "It's a v-neck, printed t-shirt and he has a faux-hawk. You do realize he is a heterosexual male and my brother..."

Homeostasis. A resistance to his transformation. At the same time, as she made this comment, he was being checked out by multiple passers-by that said nothing since he was eating.

Homeostasis is a bitch and it takes a person that is tied to who they wish to become and not who they were or how people have always seen them in order to break its deathgrip on their lives...

...or even just yours. How long have you sat in the mires of your life, letting homeostasis sap you of your own energies while time slips away and your dreams wither and fade. Take the first step. Just one will do. It's how I started minimalism and how that minimalism continues to affect and change me. It's how your passion will be transformed into action.

Find people that believe not just in who you are now but in your ability to become become become whoever you want to be in the future. Those people are your go-to people when homeostasis comes knocking at your door. There's only one homeostasis that you should EVERY submit to and that's not man-made. People that don't know your dreams won't fuel them. Yes, there are haters. No, not everyone who is "against" your dream is a hater, their just another tool of homeostasis. Haters will make themselves known. Believe this.

It's just sad, but educational and if I did not have the eyes I have, I would have missed it. Once I showed Philip what homeostasis was, we laughed all the comments off. He still isn't used to the clothes or the haircut, but he likes them anyway and he's determined to just try it all and enjoy enjoy enjoy the adventure.

Maybe you could be like him.