i hate ... people

...because of this picture, I wanted to say I hate girls, but guys suck just as much. Here's the scenario.

:: THE GUY

Virgin. Desperate for a romantic relationship. Can't think about anything else half the time. I mean the person who longingly sighs at every nearby couple and romantic flick. Barely into his 20s and doesn't listen to good advice about romantic relationships. Typical hopeless romantic.

:: THE GIRL

Not a virgin (and not the point). Very flirty and "out for a good time". Not a long-term relationship type. Likes to drink. Likes to party. Mildly indiscreet under alcoholic influence.

:: THE MEETUP

The story is long, but I'll skip to just these two. They start talking a bit after the girl gets out of a drama-filled-not-quite-a-relationship. He's obviously interested and he gets the courage to ask and she says yes. He couldn't be happier. He disappears -- I call it going into screensaver mode; there's a process going on, but no one can see what it is -- for weeks as they are dating. He does come over... when he's waiting for her to leave work so he can crash at her house.

They have sex; he gives his virginity to her. I imagine he's happy about this. She certainly seemed to enjoy it. Everything is fine. Everything is wonderful. Everything ends a few weeks later. Maybe three. She says she's not the marrying type. She didn't want to hurt him. She knew she wouldn't want to be in a relationship forever. She's doing this for him. She'd rather get this over with sooner than later. He's heartbroken. Very heartbroken.

I look at my roommates, we sadly nod; we warned him not to do this, but he didn't listen. He asks me what he should do. He wants to fight for the relationship. I tell him to see the truth in front of him. He wants to fight for something I believe is impossible; I explain that he wants something that, ultimately, she doesn't want -- a long-term, committed relationship. I explain this to him and quote her texts (yes, I did ask her why she did this). He says that he just wants to hold on a little longer. I tell him this will only hurt him. He doesn't care. He doesn't listen to me or anyone else. He chooses to fight for the relationship. He loses that fight.

Silence. The damage done in the way it was, will not allow them to be friends ever again and I know it. Days later, I notice her posting things about this guy. Not only that, but I see that she's posting a lot about being happy. I don't wish her miserable, but I wish she understood the effect of posting about this seeming unending happiness when there is a person following her that is massively unhappy directly because of her. I say nothing. No need to add more drama.

Fast forward through many silent weeks. Now I read this. This status. I'm dumbfounded. I become angry. You just broke up with a guy that you said:

• is a good person
• kind
• smart
• funny
• treats you well
• has great sex (apparently)

...because you didn't want to be in a long-term relationship and so your solution to this is.... to be in another relationship./?/!

Why do people do this? Why do people go around having sex with people they never intend to love or even see again? Why do people break up with good people that don't hurt them only to get into another relationship? What was wrong with the last one? I want to say this makes me hate girls (and it does), but thinking about it, guys are just as bad as girls are in this. It's not right and the fact that my friend is hurt by this only makes it worse. The fact that this is what he gave his virginity to? Even worse.

That's something that's frustrating: you can't have your virginity back and it's becoming more rare to give it to someone you don't regret giving it to. My friend gave his virginity away for a three week relationship. For the record, that's usually meant for "I'm in this with you for life" types of commitments.

I can't even express the depth of resentment and anger I feel for this. I don't think I can be her friend anymore after this. It would be different if they had a mutual breakup or even if he had done her some kind of wrong (I've been through both cases), but this I cannot do.