Grrr...

Have you ever felt in every fiber of your body that you just want to punch someone in the face as hard as you can? Ooh me! Pick me!

Why are people so frustrating? I wanted to put the word today at the end of that sentence, but then I realized that it isn't today. It's today and yesterday and the day before that, too. What the hell is this madness? At the same time, there are so many forces to completely abolish even the thought of it. Yesterday, at random, Polli gave me a hug. That one hug made me not want to be angry at all that day. I hate that feeling. I hate that it is so easy for people I care about to have that effect on me.

I'm still at odds with Phillip. I don't know how to just let things go because I absolutely do not want, on any level, for any of this to repeat itself. So far, it's enough that he's not sure of how I'll react and so hasn't said anything inappropriate since then.

I think I need to be repaired. I need to be taken into a shop and repaired. Healing. That sounds nice. Maybe even on an emotional level. I just went downstairs and I won at least eight rounds straight and I felt nothing from it. I sit here at this screen, typing and working, just to keep myself from exploding into rage and doing something I might regret.

Help. I need help.