Confessions of My Own

1. I've not thought about kissing anyone very often, but I thought about kissing you for two weeks before the day we broke up.
2. If I could have chosen my first, you would have been it.
3. When I tell someone we broke up, they ask why. I still don't know.
4. This usually causes a variety of negative reactions, all of which I bring to an immediate halt. I will not let anyone speak ill of you and especially not in ignorance.
5. When I take my morning walk to work and hit a song that reminds me of you, I run into an invisible wall of intense emotions. I acknowledge them and let them run their course, then I keep going. I imagine at that moments that you may be doing the same thing.
6. Some days, I think about the flow of evens leading up to this moment and wonder if I can love anyone with what was left afterward. Other days, I wonder if my ability to love people so evenly leaves everyone on the same plane.
7. You've taught me that no one wants to be on the same plane.
8. I'm not one to go on a tirade about women, men, and friendzones. After this, I'm still not. There is something about that that makes me feel wonderful. I know that, in the moments where it is just me and my own thoughts, I believe down to the core that being with you for the time we were together was a privilege and never a right. I was blessed with you; graced with you.
9. When it rains, I want to walk outside with you. Still.
10. I walk a little bit slower when the stars are out and I'm more appreciative of warmer climates.
11. I'm not sure what being true to myself will bring me over time, but you've confirmed that I really believe it is worth what it brings me and that I will never do otherwise. Thank you.
12. I still listen to love songs like this one. It is always a pleasant memory. I never meant a word I said less and somehow nothing changed those feelings. If anything, they are crystallized.
13. Some days, I'm not sure if this is a dam waiting to break, but if it does, you'll be the first to know.