It feels like a bad ten commandments rerun.
Really.
I didn't see the results I wanted, so choosing not to complain about it, I started washing the dishes each night on my own. Kept the kitchen clean, but there was a ton of work to do every night. One of the roommates and I talk because I've become silent and withdrawn -- feeling like you have to do everything yourself leads to these things. I tell him how I feel. He says that he understands and that everyone should pitch in to help.
I continue to wash dishes, he says that I should let people be more responsible for their messes and cleaning them. I allow this. I have not touched the kitchen in five days now. Last night, I went downstairs to eat a piece of fish and was disappointed when I could not find a fork to eat with because there were none in the dishwasher and none in the utensil drawer. They are all in the sink...
...all of them...
There are five people that live in the house. I worked yesterday, but there were three people home that were not working. One of them was sick, leaving two. Of those two that were left, zero did the dishes. One of them was downstairs, and in the living room -- from which you can clearly see the kitchen -- all day. That same person had to go into the kitchen in order to do laundry. It did not occur to this person -- the very one that said people should help me out in keeping the house clean -- to wash one cup, plate, bowl, knife, spoon, fork, or pot.
This is just the kitchen. The living room is in disarray. I have contributed to one spot in that room. Nothing else in the room belongs to me at all.
We have a cat and two puppies. I repeat: two puppies. Neither of them are well-trained and because they are puppies, they have to go out a lot and do things like poo and pee. Remember that five of us live here. Here's how everything falls out:
- Roommate 1: Owner. sickish. doesn't take them out often at all.
- Roommate 2: Owner's bf. doesn't claim ownership or responsibility of any kind, so interacts with aformentioned animals at his leisure.
- Roommate 3: Doesn't like the animals in general and doesn't want to be bothered with them at all in any way, shape or form.
- Roommate 4: shares a room with me. generally takes care of the animals in a minor role because he -- like myself -- can't stand seeing them not being given the attention we feel they deserve.
As for myself, it's feeding and watering them. Occasionally, I'll take them out if I'm going outside for a walk which isn't often and they wouldn't have been able to keep up with my running pace yesterday. Not to mention that their leashes can't be found.
As for the cat, although Roommate 1 asked me to get the cat for her, she feels that, because I got the cat, FOR HER, I am partly responsible for its care and well-being. This logic, I do not understand.
Roommate 3, who rarely if ever cleans (or anything else), fusses at me @ 1:30am a few nights ago because they bathroom is not clean to his liking. He never cleans the bathroom. This amazes me.
Closets are in disarray and the dogs are eating the cat food because they don't have dog food. They still aren't potty trained, so every morning is a live-action game of minesweeper in almost every area of the house (minusing the kitchen -- they like pooing on the carpet) at almost any time of the day and making the issue even more complex is the fact they roam the house instead of being contained at night until late hours because Roommate 1 doesn't feel like dealing with them running about and barking and again at early morning hours for the same reason.
I keep hoping for a break in the clouds where people go, "Wow, this is serious. Let me pitch in and help..." but no one seems to think that anything is their responsibility, so nothing gets done (excepting laundry and use of dishes) unless I specifically step out and do it. Occasionally, Roommate 4 helps. It's just that he doesn't really get around to doing much after working for a ten-hour shift and I don't blame him for that.
Having written all of that, please excuse my frustration, anger, desire to be closed off, thoughts of running away for a while or moving out altogether. Pardon the fact that I don't want to forgive the fact that I'm being ignored and I feel like I'm being regarded as a joke in general. Forgive my cynicism and damn near refusal to believe these people when they say they want to help me in any way. Finally, hear and understand my cry when I say "I really need people who are down for whatever and want to actually help me meet my goals..."
Excuse me while I stop believing people for a few moments/days. Thanks.
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