the beginning is not the end

Today was rough. I was so depressed. Stressed out because I didn't have all the money for the rent like I needed because the other roommies hadn't paid yet, work was way overdue, and I was feeling strained from missing people and certain relationships.

In addition to this, just the general pain of life. For those who read this, I'm taking a break from facebook and twitter after getting some rough comments about my liking someone's status too much. It hurts and I'm tired of hurting. Tired of hurting others.

So this weekend, I had an emo splurge and it culminated into today. I was in the midst of having one while trying not to cry all day at work. My friend, Quan, and I were texting about all of this and he spoke as honestly as he could about it. It seemed harsh, but even in the haze of my own feelings, I could see his expression of love for me and my well-being, so instead of being offended, I thought hard about what he was trying to tell me.

In spite of how I felt as it was being said, I guess I needed it to be said. It made me so thoughtful, that my feelings subsided. I plowed through the rest of my day at work and sent my friend an email. We're meeting for lunch tomorrow (we were doing that anyway). He said we can talk about training times. I couldn't have been happier just now than if I had just ran into Lance Bazemore. Maybe something good will come of this.

I got the rest of the money together for rent, too. Maybe this won't be such a bad night. I have a lot of testing to get done, but I'm tired. It will wait until tomorrow. Some of my projects had the deadline extended...

To say the least, I'm not sunshine and sparkles, but the relief feels nice.