girls and family

There are so many thoughts here for things that I need to see when my last update was....

... okay. So I already blogged about the wedding (pictures posted, btw). Since then, there have been conversations and such that we will cover here.

To start, there is this girl I'm talking to. I've known her for a long time and decided to ask her out. It's been about three weeks now. We discussed quite a few things that I've already talked about concerning that. Recently, we had a late night talk because she sent me an IM stating, "Not even a hello? smh." At 12:30am, I was annoyed at this and stated that she needed to chill. At this point, the computer very conveniently [/sarcasm] decided to lock up on me. When I restarted, I was greeted with, "I would like a moment of your time if you would..." This evolved into a five hour conversation during which I gathered from all commentary: "I want you to be my boyfriend, but I don't want to call you my boyfriend".

I don't understand this. Not at all. Why would someone expect you to chase after them with everything in you, but not want to be in a full-on relationship until May of the following year, THEN ask "but why aren't you chasing me"?

Sometimes, it's enough to just make me wanna be gay and avoid this nonsense. I'm just trying to be logical. SMH.

This spills into my younger brother's life and even my mom's. It's all the same: "why are these people about some nonsense....?"

Whatever.

Chillin with the fam was fun and dramatic as always. We really enjoyed ourselves, though. Ate a bit, played video games, reminisced and traded information... some of which I was mildly shocked by. It was intense stuff.

Life with my new roommates is going very well. Aside from the fact that things disappear faster than I would like, these guys are just fantastic altogether. We all hang out together, they keep the place clean most of the time, they help when they are asked to help and usually do more than asked. They're super friendly, easy to get along with, and drama free. Nice stuff.

Secret Santas are coming up. I know whoever got my list will hate it :P First item: iPod Touch (I pull no punches).

The other day, I was talking to Brandon. He mentioned that he feels (and is concerned that) the path God has him on - were he to pursue it hardcore - would cut me out of his life. I encouraged him to do it anyway. In spite of appearances to whatever end, I am a person that, at the core, believes in Jesus and being obedient to Him as best one can. I encourage him still to do the thing that God tells him to and if that means life without me, then so be it. His life is more important to me than our friendship. He has to have that peace and I won't be selfish enough to get in the way of it.

I was thinking about who I am and what I've become in the mirror the other day... and I smiled. It felt good to know that I am content -- never satisfied -- but content with where and who I am in life. Learning, growing, changing a whole lot. I could use a bit more sleep and maybe a bit more introspection. I won't say I'm perfect, but I will say I'm fine. That is happiness all its own.

There's a lot more I've been thinking a bit more closely about, but we'll get to that another time.

One more thing, got annoyed because, yet again, someone asked a friend of mine AND NOT ME if I was gay. WTF. This person has me as a FB friend on top of that. Seriously: I'm not afraid to be asked a freakin question, so effin ask me. Not difficult!!!! I know my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and that can be intimidating, but if you're not going to ask ME about ME, then don't ask other people because they tell me every time it happens. Grow a pair FFS.

T_T