Breathe, Report, Run

I could be working, but the people from HQ are being asshats, so I'm going to blog.

The last few days have been rough. I was more depressed earlier in the week just because that's how cycles work, but my mood is lightening toward the end and I am good with that. I'll write about this with titles because there's too much going on not to include them.

CEDRIC'S PROJECT
He asked me to help him with a project in jsp (java servlet page script). I can't do that, so I tried to write the program in PHP and let him translate the logic. He has a sucky teacher (I know from just talking), so he had a hard time translating the concepts. He actually tried to ask the teacher if he could turn in the project in PHP instead (bastard!), but the teacher said no (as I predicted).

He ended up dropping the class as neither he nor anyone else in the class had a clue as to how to go about doing this. He did offer to pay me for the work I did, but I settled for dinner and friendly hugs.


ROOMMATE STUFF
James moved. Rickey and I are really random. When we talk, it's deep and intense and funny. When we don't talk, we don't even see each other.

The latest talk we had was on destiny and, on my side, I presented things from the only point of view I understand which is, of course, attached to my faith... which I pointed out several times. I think it gave him a lot to think about. Seeds are planted.


FREAKIN CATS
Sleeping in my shoes. Eating all the food. So so cute though. Azumi curled up on me, purred, and meowed until I followed her into the kitchen to give her more food and water. :D


MINIMALISM
I'm so far into it since I started and I'm still shedding stuff. Not as much at once, but I'm always thinking about things I have and don't need. I finally had to give Hello Kitty the boot as she's just taking up space, but I did enjoy her for the time I had her on my desk.


RECONNECT
So I finally caught up with Waz which was excitement and a half. I randomly called and he picked up and we talked for a couple of hours. I'm glad this happened. It was quite a bit of download, but I was cooking dinner so that helped pass the time and it was a really big, protein-y, vegetable-y dinner. :D

Last night, Polli came over while I was working with Marc to undertand GIT (ugh!). He whiled away the time while I programmed until Marc fell asleep. We got dinner, Rickey asked me to tune his guitar (I can tune by ear), and Polli and I talked about Occupy Wall Street and a lot of political things until we were tired and I remembered that being a zombie at work is not the move.

In the morning, I got up, showered instead of ignoring the clock, got dressed and used the last of my minutes to lie next to him on the couch and say nothing for a while. I'm glad I did. Some moments you pass over with friends not doing silly things like this because you think you'll have that moment later and you regret that decision later.

Not I. I don't choose that life.

So I laid there until 8:31 where I promptly:

• gathered my things
• forgot something
• gathered the something I forgot
• got him to take me to the bus stop to squeeze in a few more seconds while he tried to kill me by making a turn when someone clearly had the right-of-way
• tore my shirt on the way out of the door and creatively put it back together in such a way that it looks normal

All of that in a few minutes. After that, I read my work email to get a jump on what needs to happen today and read email that pissed me off. Let me explain that now.

WORK BITCHES

Yesterday, I was asked to make a bunch of changes to our website. There are two people in our company that manage making changes. One of them didn't have time (college classes) and the other just didn't feel like it because it was outside of her office hours (4 hours/day). I fumbled through it, but I figured it out in about two hours.

Today, she writes this:

To: Marquis Dugger; Alessio Artuffo
Subject: Re: Website lay out
 See, I now had to take the whole element away now from the carousel (unable to edit it due to connection problems), but please do not change any page lay outs in the future! The lay out is all planned on web concept level for our global marcom needs and site structure must remain as it is.
 Also, I lose time when I need to rework on the site to fix these.
 I am sure you understand :)
 Ciao,
M

Wutdafukk?! Is this bitch (yes, bitch) for real?! We have a time-sensitive email campaign going out that you didn't want to help with and you start your day with a complaint? I made that page look hot. I mean damn sexy for someone that hasn't used the system even once. Seriously, look at it since the bitch didn't even have to actually edit anything!

I really wanted to go ham, but I wrote:

M:
 I can understand that perfectly and considering how this went, I am excited and positive that I'll be able to get your assistance with any future, time-sensitive projects as I ask for it.
 For that, I thank you in advance!
 ----
MD

Get on my level and don't you dare come at me like that at the beginning of my day ever again before I smack that accent off of you! Grrrrrr. While I'm on that, I love the people I work with but the people at HQ are really unsupportive as fuck sometimes.

Whatever. I'll make things work and it will cost them money. End trans.

OTHER THINGS

I looked up the meaning of the word pansexual yesterday on wikipedia as someone described me with that word. Some of this made me smile because of it's accuracy. In particular, this:

Pansexuality can also mean the attraction to a person's personality, rather than their physical appearance or gender.

I love that. I really do.

I'm thinking of ways to get rid of things. I guess I just need to steel my nerves and go ham on everything I view as immediately unuseful.

That work thing? Yeah, we just cleared that up. We were friendly about it and it only took a moment. The marketing person thought I did something intentionally that was only a mistake. Now that we've clarified that it was unintentional, things are golden. She gave me a few other pointers about things we can/can't do and we're fine now. Absolutely fine.

Ale slept in today. I love my boss, but this man is off the chain sometimes.


DAD ISSUES
The other day, I bought a cookie and I was walking to the bus stop. Suddenly, I was hit full-force with missing my dad. I wanted a hug. Specifically from him and I couldn't have it then. I texted him and said, "Days like today, when I think about you, I wish I had superpowers." He called later, but I was too busy with things to pick up right then and so the story goes.

I'm almost 30 and I just get blindsided still with the most basic things from childhood. I wish he were here. I wish I could ask him things. I wish we could just hang out and talk about something/nothing/anything at all and all I can get in return is another bill in the mail and the sharp realization that I just left my adult, grownup job.

Fuck adulthood, I want my dad.

This is said as a person that grew up with and in a generation of people that were physically/spiritually/emotionally/mentally abandoned/left by their fathers and chose to say, "We'll do this without you AND BE GOOD AT IT!!!!!" and we were....

...but we still need them. It's not even a something they do as much as who they are and how that affects us as we grow up. I am convinced I wouldn't be the way I am in a lot of ways that would be better for me if he were here. I guess I came out okay and thank God that I know The Father to the Fatherless, but I still miss him and I want him near and this will haunt me -- and all of us that are a part of this fatherless generation -- for the rest of our lives. That sucks.


ON A HAPPIER NOTE
The sun is making its presence known and this white chocolate mocha is good and this brownie should be epic and I got paid today. Life on the whole is good and I even managed to update my phone to iOS5 without issue.

This is good times.