It's only a short time from now but in that time, it's torturous.
I hate that I love you so fucking much. Pardon the strength of my expression, but I can't help it. I have wings to fly, but people like you keep me looking over my shoulder even as I take off. I don't lose will, but I lose heart.
What should be a purely happy moment has a breath of sorrow in it. This isn't your fault; it's mine.
I want to take you with me. Here. To a place you clearly cannot go. I wish I could bring you and never have you have to leave me ever. I have a hard enough time dealing with living in a different home than you and now I am going to be hundreds of miles away.
Objectively, I'll be gone for about 96 hours and then I will come back home and continue on as before: work, exercise, dance, online life, friends, etc.
In my heart and mind, it may as well be three eternities or a sentence to life in solitary confinement.
I can't find that laser perfect word or set of words, but as you read these words, I want you to close your eyes and feel my heart beating with and for you. Let my love find you and wear it like an overcoat. Breathe it in like light summer rain. Take in its fiery warmth. Know that, while it never seems enough, I'm always with you even when my body is elsewhere.
I will probably feel better when I arrive where I'm going but this is hard going right now.
You told me I should feel free to comment on things I was curious about. Posts like these are what I was referring to last night when we were talking about last night. These are the things that I find both beautiful and terrifying...
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