So after conversation after conversation... wait, let me get headphones....
gets headphones and cues up music
We've been back and forth about this for months now. I can't believe that I'm even saying this. It's been months now. Like two of them. Last night you say, "Maybe we'll talk tomorrow."
It is your day off. It is 7C and raining. As you've stated, you have no money for going places, so you're going to be home all day long. All fucking day.
I wake up and, even after defending you from all the shade James threw, you still manage to perform exactly as he said and I knew. The day could have written its-fucking-self...
-------------
8:15AM. I get a call from work. I finally dust myself off and check emails.
9:15AM. I send you a text. I let you know that I'm working at home today and need the room to myself until noon. That should be fine since you won't really be awake until then; the sound of your alarm going off and then being sent to snooze at least seven times was a dead giveaway.
NOON. I am done and, as if you hadn't read my text, you ask if it is safe to come upstairs. I'm in the room talking to James. You go straight to the computer without a word to the other two humanoids nearby.
12:35PM. I'm out with James. We run and errand and talk about the upcoming choices with moving we all have to make. He's asking what my plans are. I have to remind him that, as I said before, they are not set in stone. For the record, here is the dialog. The entire thing without editing.
I don't have the words to explain the stupidity that continues to blossom like thousands of cherry trees around me with every passing day. Not that I have much time to fully contemplate the first wave before another wave comes coupled with the knives you drive into my heart about how your moving plans are going while our "friendship" remains in utter ruins because you either lack the balls or the slightest shred of concern to address it after (of course) stating that you wanted to know what's going on/what's wrong?
There's also the matter of your bullshit excuses that you pass on to me and others as gospel truth. For instance, "Marquis said he was moving..."
Are you fucking serious right now?!

Moving on...
3-ish PM. Ben shows up for a couple of rounds of League. He leaves at 5:55PM.
It is now 8:55PM. You have sat here for hours not saying one word to me about anything except for a rather bland bit of nonsensical dialog from earlier about your moving and why I was laughing at something. Why do I even share a room or a house with you?
The sad thing is that, in your mind, I'm still your best and closest friend. The most understanding person you've ever met. The nicest and the kindest one, too. By far...
AND YOU REGULARLY CHOOSE TO SHIT ON ME AND OUR FRIENDSHIP WHENEVER THE SITUATION EVEN SLIGHTLY PRESENTS ITSELF.
This because of the girl who asked you not to go after breaking you in two and I helped put those pieces back. Mind, it turns out she had a bit of an emotional breakdown and didn't handle that well, but that's hardly my point as much as the fact that I shouldn't be fucking neglected like this is.
So what if I just said, "Fuck it..." and moved out and left you here until the end of the month?
I don't even know how to hold back all the anger I'm feeling right now. I really don't, but I'm going to somehow pull it off because I've had to bite back anger I've had every right to since I was 14.
Not that you could do a damn thing if I did; the one time I let you see a hint of anger on my face you went dead silence for five minutes out of fear alone (his words, not mine).
I am so burned right now....
gets headphones and cues up music
We've been back and forth about this for months now. I can't believe that I'm even saying this. It's been months now. Like two of them. Last night you say, "Maybe we'll talk tomorrow."
It is your day off. It is 7C and raining. As you've stated, you have no money for going places, so you're going to be home all day long. All fucking day.
I wake up and, even after defending you from all the shade James threw, you still manage to perform exactly as he said and I knew. The day could have written its-fucking-self...
-------------
8:15AM. I get a call from work. I finally dust myself off and check emails.
9:15AM. I send you a text. I let you know that I'm working at home today and need the room to myself until noon. That should be fine since you won't really be awake until then; the sound of your alarm going off and then being sent to snooze at least seven times was a dead giveaway.
NOON. I am done and, as if you hadn't read my text, you ask if it is safe to come upstairs. I'm in the room talking to James. You go straight to the computer without a word to the other two humanoids nearby.
12:35PM. I'm out with James. We run and errand and talk about the upcoming choices with moving we all have to make. He's asking what my plans are. I have to remind him that, as I said before, they are not set in stone. For the record, here is the dialog. The entire thing without editing.
I don't have the words to explain the stupidity that continues to blossom like thousands of cherry trees around me with every passing day. Not that I have much time to fully contemplate the first wave before another wave comes coupled with the knives you drive into my heart about how your moving plans are going while our "friendship" remains in utter ruins because you either lack the balls or the slightest shred of concern to address it after (of course) stating that you wanted to know what's going on/what's wrong?
There's also the matter of your bullshit excuses that you pass on to me and others as gospel truth. For instance, "Marquis said he was moving..."
Are you fucking serious right now?!

Moving on...
3-ish PM. Ben shows up for a couple of rounds of League. He leaves at 5:55PM.
It is now 8:55PM. You have sat here for hours not saying one word to me about anything except for a rather bland bit of nonsensical dialog from earlier about your moving and why I was laughing at something. Why do I even share a room or a house with you?
The sad thing is that, in your mind, I'm still your best and closest friend. The most understanding person you've ever met. The nicest and the kindest one, too. By far...
AND YOU REGULARLY CHOOSE TO SHIT ON ME AND OUR FRIENDSHIP WHENEVER THE SITUATION EVEN SLIGHTLY PRESENTS ITSELF.
This because of the girl who asked you not to go after breaking you in two and I helped put those pieces back. Mind, it turns out she had a bit of an emotional breakdown and didn't handle that well, but that's hardly my point as much as the fact that I shouldn't be fucking neglected like this is.
So what if I just said, "Fuck it..." and moved out and left you here until the end of the month?
I don't even know how to hold back all the anger I'm feeling right now. I really don't, but I'm going to somehow pull it off because I've had to bite back anger I've had every right to since I was 14.
Not that you could do a damn thing if I did; the one time I let you see a hint of anger on my face you went dead silence for five minutes out of fear alone (his words, not mine).
I am so burned right now....

No comments:
Post a Comment