worth waiting for....

Listening to Lullaby and thinking of everything that Tensei said. We've had a rather extensive conversation about the subject of my discovering myself sexually and being involved with someone on a physically intimate level.

He thinks I'm too picky because I want so much of the person I end up with. Mind you, I do want a lot, but then I'm giving a lot. I haven't masturbated, watched porn, or had pre- or extramarital sex with anyone at any time ever. Having held out for so long, the person I end up with better be worth that effort.

I'm not really into the dating scene as we see it here in the US. I don't do one-night deals/hookups. I'm worth more than that and I think the person I end up will be worth more than that, too. Even so, I care enough about people to avoid treating them like they are disposable pieces of whatever to be consumed, then discarded when I'm not interested in them anymore because they lack other qualities I think are important (empathy, passion for life, intelligence, sense of humor, connection with who i am...) for any human being to have.

I'm also not into wasting time. I'm really not. If I look at you and I don't see the potential for you and I to be together for the rest of my life, then I don't even bother approaching a romantic relationship at that point. It's not worth wasting two people's time. Also, that kind of relationship can be developed, but can't be forced. If you don't have the heart for a long-term relationship, I'm not going to try to change that; I'd sooner just find someone that does.

Maybe that will leave me lonely for the rest of my life, but then again, maybe it will find me the love of a lifetime.